nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

50 shades of hipster:  he pulled down my aztec leggings whilst I undid his chinos, we then took off each others vans and poured tea over ourselves

computer:  wanna update this
me:  sure
computer:  you have to restart your com-
me:  never mind

fuckyeahtxtposts:

one pillow for under the head and one pillow for hugging that’s how it goes

nialurs:

game BOY??? *bangs fist on the table* FEMINISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rodneykong:

fun pranks: when no one’s looking shoot archduke ferdinand and start a world war